I normally wouldn’t do this, hence my agenda is to blog mostly about travel, however, this new trend warrants my attention and my need to save the male species that may choose to travel in such attire. Social media has blasted this new fad of the “RompHim”. May this article serve as a disclosure to all who may consider engaging in such a “fashionable” mishap.
- You Can’t Play Basketball with flat balls!
Rompers are usually shorter in length and tighter than a normal pair of summer shorts, and they fit in between areas of creases that form the contour of your body. See… women have the perfect anatomy to accommodate such creases due to the fact that their anatomy is internal as oppose to external. Due to the outfit being a one piece, there is very little room for shifting or shaking things into place (if you know what I mean), and even then, at times it may still be uncomfortable for your female counterpart. Think about that.
2. Can We Change Your Diaper?
Plane and simple. They make you look like giant babies, especially, if you are in shape, and that shape is…well…round. If you are built and muscular, the romper seems to give off the illusion of curves, so be careful. “Slim Jims” may be the only ones who may be the closest to even being fit to man a romper.
3. Stop Stalling and Do It!
After hours of social sipping and chatting it up with badies, an interruption may call for a timeout to release. Well, you walk into the restroom, occupied by your male peers who are contemplating the next fish they want to fry. You proceed to whip “it” out and realize that the rompHim doesn’t open at the waistband. Now you have one of three options: 1) surely, get some privacy in the stall (if there is one), 2) take a chance and aim, and if you are not so lucky, blame the leak on a spilled drink, but don’t stay too long at the party thereafter, because you now smell like a walking lavatory, or 3) simply bare it all for the man world to see. After all, they should understand.
4. Leg Day!
If you have skipped leg day all winter, wait it out this summer and try again next year. You can’t be all cocked diesel on top and look like you have been in a wheelchair all of your life and think you can get away with it. You want to make sure your legs don’t look like they were donated to you by a selfless, “green” woman who never bothered to tan or shave in order to preserve earth’s natural resources. Better yet, leave those legs for the chickens raised in barns (hidden).
It is not too late to reconsider, but don’t say you wasn’t warned. If you can jump through all of these loops mentioned above and maintain your dignity, may the forces be with you. I’m signing out in support of #teamrompHER !
This this blog is funny? Read, 25 Types of Travelers: Which Kind Are You?